Medicare Part D

Are you calling the insurance company to ask about Part D?

Be sure to have the following information by your side.

1. Your current coverage information.
(What sort of drug coverage does your current plan have?)
(Will you still have that coverage in 2006?)

2. Have a list of the drugs you're taking to include the official name and dosage for each. Spelling is crucial here, so make sure you spell it right.
Everyone has access to an updated list of the drugs as they're covered by the insurance. Make sure your drugs are covered, and if they're not, find out for sure. The person on the phone can check for you instantly.

(www.drugstore.com will give you a price for any drug!)


3. Request the most up-to-date mailing for each company regarding Part D.
What plans does the insurance company offer you?
Why is one better than the other?


4. Forget the web! Talk to someone!
Get the name of the person on the phone, and ask for a number you can call back directly in case you think of any more questions.


5. Attend a seminar. Even if you're not taking the coverage, don't run and hide from this. You may have to take it in the future, and you're best prepared if you know about it.


Sheez!

How To Be A MudSlinger!

It's Election Day!

Now that you've voted for your favorite candidate, you're probably wondering how they got to be so popular with the crowds. Let that twinkle in your eye light your way through this brief, but effective tutorial on how to be a professional mudslinger!

YOU'LL NEED
1) Lotsa Money, Dinero, Cash, Credit, Funds, etc.
2) An extremely thorough, well-connected research team.
3) An unemployed, sobered up (at least for the moment) recently-fired tabloid writer.
4) A talented graphic design and marketing team.
5) Television and radio stations hurting for money.

Ready? Here's what you do:

A) Dig up dirt on your opponent. Don't worry about it being true, or completely accurate. Just find any negative comment in the last millenium ever said about your opponent, and feature that as the "people's opinion" so your target audience will be awed and inspired.

• USEFUL TIP #1: Raid regional newspapers and choose selected text that will read like actual comments from important people. Be sure to pick and choose ONLY the words in any article that will make your opponent look bad. You don't have to make complete sentences, just use the negative words, and fill in the rest with your own comments, introductions, dots and quotation marks. As long as you follow the comment with where you got it from, it won't matter that it's taken out of context. Try it - it's fun!

B) Give 'em Eye Candy! Use black-and-white for your opponent. Never feature them in color, or good video. Use loops of a bad video and play it in slow motion to make them seem evil and conniving. Use big, bold text to reinforce bad or negative comments you're making.

• USEFUL TIP #2: Use rich and brilliant colors when featuring yourself. Use "Glamour Shot" angles to make yourself look good in your ads, and get lots of pictures of yourself kissing babies, helping handicapped folks, smooching with old people and hanging out with minorities. Throw in a few shots of you cuddling a cute puppy to make you seem sensitive and caring. Soft, gentle and/or cheery music is essential in the background as your soft-voiced narrator goes on and on about what a great and loving person you are.

• USEFUL TIP #3: Talk with Lawsuit Lawyers for some great advertising tips - they've got it down to an art! Hire the big-voiced announcers from car commercials to shout at the world about how great you'll be as the next whatever-you're-running-for.

C) Your track record sucks. Don't even think about telling everyone about the good things you've done. Nobody cares. Just talk trash, do it often, and do it everywhere. Before you know it, you'll be out at the polls with a greasy forehead, slick hair and bleached teeth in your Sunday best. Be sure to smile a whole bunch and shake everyone's hands when you thank then "in advance" for their vote. (Don't forget the hand sanitizer - you never know where these freaks have been! Ewwww...)


For more mud-slinging tips send $19.99 plus $25.00 for shipping, handling and exploiting to:

Texican Advertising - c/o Virginians For A Mudslinging Candidate

WalMart = Bad, Americans = Good

I heard about the efforts of a dot com named Wake Up Wal-Mart. After hearing their arguments, and reading their facts, I was a bit disgusted about their fact-checking and their distorted, out-of-context data comparisons.

Just as I was going to dismiss the whole thing as ridiculous ranting, I took a look at their proposed demands for the giant retailer.

The website proposes (sounds better than demands) the following:

1 - A better living wage for Walmart employees, er... associates.

2 - Affordable health care for all their employees. (Which in turn will raise the cost of health care for all the employees and make it harder to get conditions covered due to a bigger expense for the company.) The concept here is "don't make cheap insurance available to a qualified few, but make expensive insurance available to everyone".

3 - End discrimination. I feel strongly about this one. Having worked for WalMart for a few years, I saw firsthand how women were passed up for managerial positions while less-qualified men snatched up the job.

4 - Zero tolerance for child labor. That's self-explanatory.

5 - Buy American. I like their plan to gradually phase in "Made In America" goods and slowly get away from imported goods.

6 - Respect communities. That's gonna be a tough one. Do we respect the traditionalists who would have us get rid of all those "whipper-snapper" lightpoles in our neighborhood, or do we suck up to the geek-enhanced modern visionaries who envision us pushing hovercraft shopping carts down the virtual aisles at Wally World?

I can handle these specific request for reform at Wal Mart. I just wish the website would get their facts straight, or quit making biased out-of-context comparisons to make their point.

Check it out for yourself, and let me know what you think. I'd love to hear how we stand on the latest assault on this evil giant.

-Texican