Gay Movie Scares Closeted Straights

If you want a movie to succeed these days, just stir up enough controversy about its content, and you'll get all sorts of free publicity from so-called "good people".

Such is the case with the new movie "Brokeback Mountain." A sleeper, at best, Brokeback Mountain is described by Yahoo as "a movie where two cowboys meet and form a 'secret bond'." That's politically correct for "two married guys hook up in private." Does that sound controversial? Maybe if you lived 100 years in the past, or if you're a member of the clergy. (And that's really stretching it!)

Religious fanatics and followers of The "Little House On The Prairie" Church for Unearthly Virginity all have their panties in a bunch about this movie. Why? Because there's men in the movie hinting at this "evil lifestyle." Gimme a friggin break!

Why weren't they boycotting, holding candlelight vigils and waving their prudishness at the media with other movies like "Saving Private Ryan" or "Kingdom of Heaven"? You wanna talk about disturbing! Those were downright traumatic!

Instead of investing precious time and effort into more important issues like child abuse, hunger in our country and the widespread and uncontrolled pandemic of nail fungus, they'd rather bitch about homosexuals in movies. I got news for those self-righteous idiots, look around once in a while. If you're gonna fling Ninja-Star crucifixes, you might wanna make sure your first victims aren't your own loved ones.

It's hilarious the way people stand on soapboxes and point accusing fingers at the world with a "holier than thou" attitude. No, really. Get a life!

What these freaks don't realize is that by getting all worked up about this movie, and writing to television stations, theaters, radio stations and getting the movie banned, protested and in the news as one that's "controversial", they're giving it all the publicity it needs to succeed.

Personally, I couldn't care if they played the movie locally. In fact, I hope they do because I'll go watch it just to prove I don't care what other people think about my sexuality. If you know who you are, you have nothing to worry about. Straight or not, your life is what you make it no matter what others think of you.

You'll catch me on the picket line when we start making entertainment movies about child pornography, slave labor and child abuse. Consider this the official reminder for reprioritizing the really important troubles in life. There are worse things than two people in love.

Swinging In The Great White North

Just in time to swing in the New Year, Canada approves consensual swinging! Leave it to the Canadians to make it legal for consenting adults to "swing" in private clubs. How progressive is that? If they did something like that in the U.S., we'd be having protests, marches, candle light vigils and expert commentaries from Dr. Ruth, Monica Lewinski and our favorite good ol' boy, Bill Clinton. In the middle of all the expert commentaries, we'd be flying in counselors for our students, and Oprah would start a relief effort to help those affected by the shocking news.

From Yahoo! News on Dec. 27:

"In a landmark decision on Dec, 21, the Supreme Court of Canada lifted a ban on swingers' clubs, ruling that group sex among consenting adults is neither prostitution nor a threat to society.The ruling sparked outrage, largely in English-speaking parts of Canada, where critics said it would erode limits on indecency or obscenity, encourage prostitution and even contribute to the corruption of minors.

In the mainly French-speaking and predominantly Catholic province of Quebec, however, the decision caused barely a ripple of adverse reaction. Newspaper editorialists fumed in Toronto, but largely yawned in Montreal.

Swingers across Canada cheered the ruling, especially those in Quebec, where adherents go to clubs not only to meet others like them, but also to have sex on the premises."

Note to self: Vacation in Canada soon!