Things I've Learned From The Media

LESSON #1
Freedom of speech is a higher priority than keeping our country safe.


LESSON #2
Respect everyone and treat others kindly unless they hold a public office, they're in a position of power, or they make more money than you.


LESSON #3-A
Hate the President no matter what he does, who he is, or what he says. He is inherently evil, he is out to protect his loyal army of darkness, and he wears his hair "bushy" to cover up the glow-in-the-dark "666" on his head.


LESSON #3-B
Any politicians who support our President are crooked. They lie, cheat and steal. (Unless they're snitching to the media, then they're not called 'evil', they're called 'sources'.) We don't have to prove they're evil. They support our President, so they're inherently evil.


LESSON #4-A
War is a public relations tool and not meant to right any wrongs or protect our freedom.


LESSON #4-B
We don't go to war to help people, we go to war to bitch-slap other countries with our attitude, and we should run and hide before any of our troops get hurt or killed.


LESSON #4-C
The only real casualty count is the one with Americans in it. For example, 2000 U.S. troops have died in Iraq vs. (insert number here) Iraqis. This also applies to plane crashes. For example, 3 Americans died in the overseas plane crash. Our prayers are with their families. Oh yeah, 324 foreigners also died.


LESSON #4-D
Nothing good has come from our war in Iraq. Despite the grateful masses, the mere chance of a new government, the second chance at life for most Iraqis, and the motivated troops who willingly volunteered to serve. Nothing good came from all this - just read any of the 40+ anti-war stories put out by the AP and Reuters.


LESSON #5
"Insurgents" means "bad".


LESSON #6
Our government is a disgrace. Unlike the highly-organized, ethically pure governments from around the world, ours will never do good, it will never protect our freedom, and it will never stay out of the headlines.



MORE COMING SOON.